Wednesday, 2 December 2015

I am my Father's Daughter

"I may be a woman, Sir William, but if I choose I have the heart of a man! I am my father's daughter, and I am not afraid of anything."

Annnnnnddd....SCENE.

This was and still is my most favourite quote from one my favourite movies, Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett.

I was supposed to upload another different post today. Instead, I decided to write one where this exact quote ran in my mind this evening and where it is slightly skewered towards the realm of seriousness with a dash of (I hope) inspiration for others out there. This blog, as my regular readers know, is a record of my happy moments. With a recent event and previous ones having similar conclusions, it's impossible to not include this proud moment of mine in my blog today.

I intend to make it clear...

Yes...

I AM MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER

Yes...

I AM THE WIFE TO MY HUSBAND

More importantly,

I AM JANNAH SABRI.

The event which led to this posting was a phone call from D informing that some M.O.N.K.E.Y.S. were trying to poison the well of the firm by using the excuse that this firm hired this person's daughter, me.

D, of course, did not deny it, and made it clear she knows who I am when it all began and it was due to my professional capabilities that got me through. It was clear some people were trying to use this 'tit-bit' to take away some projects the firm was vying for. D and her colleague/ long time friend just laughed away thinking how narrow some people are and how they thought they would garner the reaction they expected from D's friend.

In my case, nothing new. No hal, no problem, no drama.

People in politics have different agendas for doing so. Sadly to state the obvious, but when the subject is Melayu, irrespective in politics, business or workplace, the element of 'dengki (envy)' overrides everything and anything and reigns supreme. A fact I myself had become a victim to such people who basically bathes in 'dengki' vibes. A very ugly thing indeed. Even called me a "Babi (pig)" openly. Oh well, you won't go far for sure. With that ugly behaviour,  directed not exclusively to me alone back then but others in the same place you cari rezeki, and having that important person's ears, can only take you so far. Oh my, ok, enough reminiscing and wasting time thinking about such individuals.

Of course, as a favour to D, I am not to share this recent news to my father due to the risk of offending him.

Growing up in a politically oriented family, has its ups and downs. Not just from outsiders, family members too to be honest.

In the period after leaving a very well established organisation but before joining the firm, I had encountered similar 'treatments' in the workplace and even when going for interviews. In fact, there were three occasions whereby I was outright rejected in interviews because of who my father was. I was called in, prospective employers all impressed with my work experience and capabilities, and then towards the end, "I know, in fact, I was just googling on my phone about your father while this interview was being conducted, but can I confirm, are you XXXX's daughter?" or "I am reluctant to let you go but ...(trail off to something inaudible)."

Hmm, funny but my reaction was never contempt. Looking back, maybe it was more towards sympathy and if such an organisation took such a narrow approach to hiring people, to the point of enquiring how I deal with confidential and secret documents (yeah, disregard the fact that I've dealt with cross-border, international agreements for the country's future for years with no info leakage, intentionally or like other ministry's officers, negligently, leaving info lying about for counter-parties to view), made it even more clear that such organisations were not for me.

Instead, I smiled, confidently answered yes and expressly stated how proud I am of my father.

Yes, I don't have that typical father-daughter relationship. Hell, I can even admit that generally my relationship with both my parents are not THAT great. My father is a hard man. I would even go so far as to label his parenting skills as old school. No hesitation to give me a wallop when necessary. Oh, the types of wallops you only hear what your granddads would experience during their days.

A friend once asked whether I should tell my father.

Why bother? To blame him? Of which I do not. Never even crossed my mind to be so stupid. My parents raised me better. Sway him from his goals? Never!

I will make it on my own. I am myself, I have my father's blood in me, I am a wife to my husband and future mother to my future children.

What I can take away from all these experiences is that my parents granted me the fortitude to handle anything. For that, I am thankful. Yeah, at times things can get depressing or demotivating. Oh my, the level of sadness, THAT you can only imagine. So what? Take the time to cry... a lot or a little, then shut up and get up.

The simple truth is, circumstances will not dilute my potential. Some circumstances will even take a LOOOOOOONG time to overcome or resolved. Nonetheless, I will chart my own path, thankful of my background, where I came from and all those bitter as well as happy experiences.

All this, one day, with Allah's will, will bring me to the best path. I have to at least, believe in that.